November 1st

Dear Diary: November 1st & Almost 18 ♡

“On November 1st, 1959, I had been with Consolidated Life for three years and ten months...” — C.C. Baxter, The Apartment

November is FINALLY here, and somehow, so is the month I'm turning 18.

My birthday is on the 12th, which means I have exactly 11 days left of being seventeen (I'm terrified). I still can't quite wrap my head around that. Eighteen has always felt like one of those ages that belongs to other people but not to me. And yet, here I am.

There's also something special about November 1st that has nothing to do with my birthday. It's the day C.C. Baxter begins telling his story in The Apartment. Every year, I find myself coming back to this film around this time. Maybe it's the old New York streets or the black-and-white cinematography. Whatever it is, it makes me want to stay inside and spend an afternoon watching old movies.

I love how films from that era can make even the most ordinary things feel romantic. A rainy evening or even just walking home alone. Suddenly, the world feels like it belongs in a Billy Wilder film.

And then there's the whole turning-eighteen thing.

I don't know if anyone ever really feels ready to grow up. Sometimes I feel like I should have my entire life figured out by now and other times I can barely decide what to have for breakfast. I guess that's part of being seventeen or maybe part of being human.

For now, I'm trying not to think too much about what comes next. I want to enjoy these last few days of being seventeen, romanticize the little things, and let November be November.

xoxo,
NotLee ♡